It must really be a great big conspiracy concocted by the government*. It's genius really.
Imagine the old suit and ties in dark rooms in the White House {that's where all conspiracies are born, after all}. They sit around flicking those effing little silver balls that hang from the strings back and forth.
Then it hits them. The leader of this plot slowly walks over to the liquor bar in his office, pours a high baller of whiskey, and pontificates.
"Make the difference between neighboring children's sizes so ridiculously huge that mothers are forced to put their children in clothes so big they resemble the beginnings of gangsta rap cover albums, only one thread away from their little Calvin Klein's on display backside."
"Then, they'll start to like those clothes, which will drive them to listen to rap music, drink forties, ride low, and shoot each other."
Look. I went through a baggy phase that I don't want to remember much less talk about. It was embarrassing. But I did it to myself.
I would really love to know why my three year old is busting out of his 4T clothes - to the extent that, through tears yesterday, he said "My pants are too tight Mommy. I don't want to wear these." I had to put him in cotton play pants that rode up past his ankles.
(Superstar on the playground, no doubt.)
("Yeah [other suburban mom]. That one. The one who looks like he went through a growth spurt and the hot cycle during lunch. He's mine".)
So that was it for me! Those 5T's were coming out of the drawers and off the hangars, regardless of how huge they looked. They must fit him. Because clearly the 4's didn't.
Please take a gander at Exhibit A up there. THEY DON'T EFFING FIT! And they are only up one size!!!
His pants look like Hobbit pants! I stared at this outfit over and over this morning. Finally, I asked Grant if he wanted to change since those clothes seemed a little big.
No way, Jose. He loved 'em. He had room. He could breathe. He could move. He didn't realize he looked.... like that.
Whatever. I'd rather him be comfortable. But it's so annoying that I can't win in the childs' size department over here. And that my child is a little pawn in a great big government plot. Bastards.
*Disclaimer: Imagine me saying this all in a sarcastic joking tone. I'm not really serious here. Just putting that out there for all those that find me by searching 'government conspiracies and don't realize that one can rarely take anything I say seriously....
3 awesome people had somethin' to say...:
Jeez, you've been busy this morning!!! At least he's a cute little thug.
I find the brand makes all the difference...Noah has some 3T shorts that are falling off from Childrens Place. And a Gymboree 5T shirt that is too tight in the pits. Its weird and frustruating.
Well I think he looks cute! My teenage son grew so much last year that his pants were always too tight in the crotch and too short. Dang, this growing child thing gets expensive!
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