So, fine. I am probably a hypochondriac. I'm fine with that.
My *&%$&*) eye has been twitching for FOUR days and it's making my a little crazy. A LOT crazy. My left eye. The lower lid.
So, okay, Internet. Thank you for letting me search what could possibly be the cause of my desire to stab myself in the eye with a fondue fork. And for contributing to my hypochondriatic tendencies.
Stress. (check)
Fatigue. (check)
Too much caffeine. (check )
Too much time watching TV or staring at a computer screen. (check check)
Heart and Spleen deficiency (huh?)
Air pollution (maybe?)
Allergies (whatever)
Injury or abnormal functioning of the basal ganglia. (Cannon did throw himself back REALLY effing hard the other day and whacked the hell out of my eye with his big buffalo head...) (I don't know what "basal ganglia" is.) (But I guess I'm about to Google that, too.)
So now I have a brain injury. I know it. Thanks, Cannon. Or maybe MS. Or maybe this is all BS. I don't know. But if my eye doesn't stop twitching, please remove all the fondue forks from my presence. I can't be trusted.
Oh, but wait. This is good. The Home Treatments. Are you ready for this:
Get more sleep (how do I write that snorty, sarcastic sound that is coming from my mouth?)
De-stress (Damn. I really liked all of my stress. Don't make me get rid of it....)
Share the experience with others. (what. okay. fine. I just did...)
Practice lid hygiene. (What even is this? Please raise your hand if you have ever heard of "lid hygiene". Anyone? Bueller?)
I can't even take this nonsense anymore. I'm going to the mall for retail therapy.
Editors Note: Cannon's "big Buffalo head" is really, really cute, and for that, he is certainly forgiven the really hard whack...
5 awesome people had somethin' to say...:
Danielle, you are a riot! You have to write a book. Keep it coming!
OK you need to lay off the comedy!!! Holy crap that is funny, i was once told to eat a bananna when this happens, this guy apparently was too smart for his own britches told me that it has something to do with an iron deficinecy( i cant even spell it) or potassium.....but banannas constipate me so i dont think i listened!!!
I cannot remember the last time I laughed that hard. It's a good thing I don't have fondue forks at home or for sure I would have resorted to using mine when my eye started to twitch like that.
OK, I'm sure the head but from the really, really cute big buffalo head must have hurt, but THAT was hilarious!!!
Has your eye stopped twitching? Please say yes.
Ha!
Yes, I should have done a follow up post.
I ended up scarfing my boys' Flintstone vitamins and drinking more water, and it went away.
I can't prove that all of that correlated to the eye twitch, but at least it stopped!!
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